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I am slowly reading the book, What Every CHILD Needs by Eliza Morgan and Carol Kuykendall. when I say slowly, I mean like one chapter a week. (See last weeks post on chapter one.) This book is one of the first books in my goal to read more this year.
Last week about this time, I started a chapter on crazy-about-me love. Sunday, I found a bit of time to do more reading. The following quote jumped out at me.
I notice that if my children don’t get enough attention, or are not told and shown that they are loved and needed, they tend to rebel or do something so they will receive that attention. Also, my children might act whiny or weepy over trivial things if time passes without their getting attention. (pg. 46 from What Every CHILD Needs by Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall)
This quote played itself out at our house last week. Our friend hurt her back and we offered to take her two boys. My son is generally an obedient child. Sure, he is three and has some very three moments, but he is normally a well behaved child. Last week, however, he became a defiant, disobedient little snot. I was at my wits end with him. By the time his daddy came home from work, I was out of ideas to get him to obey.
And it’s not like I had been ignoring the child either. I had been purposely attempting to spend little bits of time with him. Yet in spite of my attempts, he knowingly refused to obey. Nothing I said or did persuaded him to obey. Thankfully, when my husband came home from work, he was able to deal with him and get some obedience.
Showing crazy-about-me love isn’t easy. Spending enough time with your children can be a challenge on a good week. On a crazy, mixed-up, upside-down week, it seems impossible. So how do we spend time with our children and let them know that we love them, even when it seems impossible? Eliza Morgan and Carol Kuykendall offer the following suggestions on how to show our children crazy-about-me love:
1. Give spontaneous verbal affirmation.
2. Do special things that say “I love you!”
3. Nurture your child through listening, encouragement and compliments.
4. Stop doing unnecessary activities. Learn to say no.
5. Turn off the TV.
6. Streamline chores.
7. Redefine quality time.
In my case, I probably should have spend some one-on-one time with my son going on a mommy/son walk or bike ride. Would it have helped his behavior? I don’t know. But it is worth a try.
I also should have spent more time in prayer for the day. The days that went smooth were the days that I spent time praying. I need to make time each morning to pray over the day. I shouldn’t let the cares and worries of the day ahead over shadow praying.
Lord, help me to pray for my children. Help me not to get to busy to show them crazy-about-me love.